I’ve been thinking about writing. I love writing. It’s the best friend I didn’t know I had, yet I’ve always missed him. What’s really exciting is that not only do I love it, writing also takes me to what I love. It’s a pathfinder, a heart detector.
For years, I thought I was going to university. At 13, I got catalogues from schools around the country in my mailbox. I simply couldn’t wait. From my point of view at the time, studying was also a way out, or away, or maybe even more towards something new. I felt ravished by the longing to get out there.
I never got to university. I did get out, out there, where I still am, stretching all I can. But university… I realized without realizing that I can’t afford to spend time on it. I am going to die, thus it’s impossible to spend the time I have on ready made and packaged knowledge. I love learning, but to learn I need to experience it myself, to swim in the sea instead of reading theories on swimming. So I jumped. And jumped again.
That’s how writing works, too. I found a format I felt I could start with, something looking like the sea—deep enough to swim, shallow enough not to drown at first attempt. I am humble enough to see that it takes more than 54 blog posts to become a swimmer, or a writer. But I am also determined enough to just do it. Write. Be someone who writes. Be a writer, nevertheless.
My project though, is the other way around. Not to be a writer, but to write who I am.
I read a deeply inspiring book during holidays; Presence: An Exploration of Profound Change in People, Organizations, and Society. While awaking similar feelings of meeting a long lost friend, reading the book also reminded me of how much I miss the personal perspective. The subjective. The raw and experienced and lived. I did love the theories in the book, they very much resonnate with my own philosophies and ambitions. Just the title is enough, combining the words presence, profound and change does it already. But even though it was rich with real life examples, I still miss the real real life in it. I find it hard to describe what I really mean, and what I really mean is what I’m really trying to do with this blog and my work.
I don’t believe there can be profound change in organizations and society without it first happening in people. And people, that’s you and me. Real people with real lives. Not leaders and community organizers. Not entrepreneurs and academics. People. Flesh and bone. Mind and soul. With stories. And conditions. And fuckups. And insanely lots of resources and potential and possibilities.
This isn’t about the book at all. It’s about a blind spot, it’s about what I feel is missing. It’s about me, and my blog, and the purpose of it all. Writing who I am. An exploration of profound change, yes. But also an implementation of profound change.
(Isn’t love just another concept unless it’s expressed, lived?)
I’m happy either way. But my true hope with this blog is that I’m able to show you at least a tiny fraction of who I am. That the real real me can be communicated through words, and inspire you to show just a little bit more of the real real you. Because that’s where it happens. Change, profound change. In real real people.
[Photo: Birgitta Hollander]