I’m back from vacation and it’s early and I’m trying to write and I find it so excruciatingly hard. I’ve imagined the first post after the break to be sparkling and sunbeamy, lighting up the Internet like a white beach lights up a soul. Instead I feel heavy and sad, reflecting the grey clouds passing by outside.
Two weeks of digital detox, two weeks of nature and playing and fighting and crying and laughing. Leaving technology behind felt so easy! It was just me, and us. Challenging enough with two small boys, sure, but naturally free of distractions. Whatever was there, was there.
I feel sad and heavy because I’ve let myself be distracted so easily. Because I’ve believed there’s something to find, out there, something essential and important. Something I don’t have, something I need and should get.
Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.
The good thing is, and that’s what breaks are for, now I see more clearly what I’ve really missed. And it was there all along.